As I woke up yesterday I heard my phone buzz. As I read the message from my Mother my heart dropped. It was time; my sweet Nana's time on this earth was coming to an end. We knew this day would come, we talked about it and planned for it for eight months, but I still wasn't completely ready to say goodbye. I don't really remember the drive over as I thought about the last eight months and all the times I had shared with her. I thought about all the fun times and all the amazing stories she had shared. I thought about watching her throughout this whole process. I didn't want to forget any of it.
I walked into the house to see my Auntie, Uncle, Mom, Cousin, and Sisters as they all gathered around her watching her as she lay there so peacefully. As soon as I entered the room I felt the most amazingly sweet and peaceful feeling. My eyes began to water as I sat and watched my Nana. My Nana, a woman who has always been there for me. A woman that I never imagined would ever leave from my earthly presence.
I feel so unbelievably lucky to have been in that room as she took her last breath here on this earth. I feel so lucky to have witnessed such a sweet experience with the ones I love. I feel so lucky to have had the opportunity to watch and assist in her process. She truly blessed our lives with so much. My heart aches for the loss of such a wonderful woman. But my heart is also so full of warmth thinking about her reuniting with my Papa and all her loved ones who have passed on before her.
I have come to appreciate all the little things in my life that people do for me. My Nana used to send everyone emails that she loved. If she found a beautiful message she would send it to all her loved ones. Sometimes she would send as many as three or four a day. I never had enough time to read each one so I started a "Nana" email folder and started putting those directly into the folder. I now have over 400 emails and over 200 of those are unread. I am now finding time to read these emails wishing I would have found time then to read something that was so important and beautiful to her that she took the time to send us.
I opened one today that was titled "Beautiful thoughts for the day" and dated September 5, 2010. It was full of quotes that she found. I now find them very fitting...
“At this very moment, somewhere across the earth, the sun is rising on a new day. And somewhere else, the sun is setting on a day just completed. Dawn to dusk, day to night, we move forward along life’s pathway."
I love you Nana, with all of my heart.
"The unrelenting pattern of sunrises and sunsets reassures us that life goes on. No matter what happens today, the sunset will bring the day to its natural close, and tomorrow’s sunrise will welcome a new one. In the meantime, let us embrace more fully the present hour, whatever our season of life may be."
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